Why the Stepford Wives wouldn't go to a trump rally:


This ponderment came from a friend telling me they were listening to a podcast talking about a trump rally, and one of the hosts described a group of women at the rally as “Stepford Wives”. This person knows how much I love the Stepford Wives, which is why they eagerly told me about this. And, because I am the sole subscriber to Stepford Wife Digest (for the articles) I didn’t hesitate to tell this friend why that podcast host’s observation was grievously incorrect. (This exchange was over text but I did a very audible scoff when reading the message.)

Because I am an intellectual, I have seen both movies and have listened to the audiobook multiple times.. inattentively yes, but multiple times with half attention usually makes up one full attention. Have I revisited the material, however, to prepare for this op-ed? I’ve been watching Beetlejuice twice in a row every night, so you can decide. Anyways, my strong, informed, and focused opinion is that the men who have Stepford Wives would not have them attend a rally. The functions of a Stepford Wife are to cook, clean, and look like Jayne Mansfield. The husbands need to continuously capitalize on all that free labor. If the wives came, then there wouldn't be dinner on the table and a clean living room when they got home. One could say it would make sense for the men to bring their wives to brag but that doesn't outweigh the value of housework. Also, I feel like in 2024 getting a Stepford Wife would probably cost a lot of money. Would the husbands of Stepford Wives even go to a rally? What is the income demographic of rally attendees?


                                                                                                                              *This is old and I don't care enough to look beyond the first picture I found on Google Images.
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        **Also it supports my confirmation bias.                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  
I can't really see upper-class men (I feel like 6 figures is fair to classify as upper-class) with that amount of money going to one. They are more of the digressions in private, hold your meetings in a lodge, and no one ever raises their voices, kind of types. Which is scary, but in a different kind of way than a trump rally attendee. It's scary in an Ira Levin, 6 figures kind of way. I went into this wanting to voice my argument against the presence of Stepford Wives and decided their husbands probably wouldn't go either.

I do realize that the women of Stepford were killed and replaced with robots but, I would just like for that to be my life. Don't replace me, just give me a lobotomy. Picture this: free full-body plastic surgery, my hair wouldn't be frizzy anymore, my house would always be clean, I'd be a great cook, and most importantly, my only desires would include my less-than-mediocre husband, cleaning products, and my neighbor’s recipes. I'm tired of being rushed, and sloppy, and irritated, and alive.

Maybe by the time I'm 35, I'll think differently. I'd say 32 but that's definitely too optimistic. Anyways, if anyone has any leads on a real Stepford community where I can be turned into a femmebot, please dm me. In the meantime, I’ll be reading my new favorite blog, www.stepfordwives.org
Hermione’s Charmed Life; In Defense of Professor Trelawney: